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Blog 33: The LOVE Series (Part 1) —How Will I Know When I’m in love?

Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash
“Does he love me I want to know?”. Betty Everett, asked this question in 1963, Aretha Franklin in 1964, Linda Lewis in 1974 and Cher in 1990.

It wasn't just the girls who wanted answers to the love question.

The boys needed to know as well.

The Searchers asked the question in 1964, The Hollies also in 1964.

Seems like 1964 was the year that a lot of blokes were trying to figure out their love life!

According to the Shoop Shoop Song, the answer is ‘It’s in his [Her] kiss.’

True love or something more basic . . .

I remember being infatuated with a certain someone, and we’ve been married now for almost 33 years (June 22nd).

It wasn’t love at first sight. No, something more basic than that.

Big brown eyes, jet black hair and a dusky complexion, got the hormones racing.

Infatuation is a wonderful feeling. The need to always be near her, to listen to her every word. To measure the minutes before we’re back together. To feel the touch of her hands, the warmth of her embrace.

When did I first know I loved her? Was it in her kiss?

It certainly helped. The chemistry was there, but . . .

Infatuation was a good starting point but for the relationship to develop there had to be more.

Love evolved

It transitioned into something deeper, a bonding of likes and differences, surrendering and cooperating, arguing and . . .

We thought we knew each other well enough until we married. Then we found out how little we did know.

It was a grand adventure!

Freedom would be the one word I’d use to describe marriage. Freedom to come and go as we liked, freedom to shut the door and leave the world behind, freedom to explore each other. Freedom to grow together as a couple.

Children came later, and new dimensions of love grew. Opportunity to learn new dimensions of love. Ways to begin to understand God’s love for us. The love of a father and mother for their child.

Love matures

The infatuation of the early days gives way to the needs of daily life, Mortgages, bills, and more bills.

Complacency slips in unannounced and unless curtailed quickly.

Sometimes it’s not that easy, days, weeks even months pass and intimacy slips away.

Did I really love her, and what did God has something to say about this wonderfull, messy thing?

Gene Pitney was spot on when he sang ‘True love never runs smooth’. That’s what I mean—

Forget … ‘and they lived happily ever after!’

Love is a verb

Love is much more complex than princes, fairy godmothers, ugly step-sisters and glass slippers.

If only it were that simple!

Love is a verb, an action—not a feeling word!

It was The Holy Spirit that prompted St Paul to pen the greatest standard for love.—God’s standard. It’s found in, 1 Corinthian 13:4—8.


  1. is patient,

  2. is kind,

  3. does not envy,

  4. does not boast,

  5. is not proud,

  6. does not dishonour others,

  7. it is not self-seeking,

  8. it is not easily angered,

  9. keeps no record of wrongs,

  10. does not delight in evil

  11. rejoices with the truth,

  12. always protects,

  13. always trusts,

  14. always hopes,

  15. always perseveres,

  16. never fails.

The Scriptures states that God is love (1John 4:8), so God exhibits all these attributes:

God is patient, God is kind, God does not envy . . .

I just can't do it

He want’s me to become more like Him. But that’s impossible.

I’ll never be able to say; Rod is patient, Rod is kind, Rod does not envy. . .

I may occasionally be able to come close to one or two of these attributes, at any one time … but not all of them … all of the time

I’m a dismal failure, in my own strength I just can’t do it.

I’ll always fail. There’s no marking on the curve when it comes to love.

There is only one pass mark. 100%. Anything less is a fail.

Why bother trying?

That’s where the love of God comes into the mix. In my own strength I’ll always fail, but in the power of the Holy Spirit all things are possible (Matthew 19:23—30).

As God’s adopted child, He looks at me through rose-coloured glasses, or more exactly Jesus coloured glasses.

When he looks at me, he looks beyond my failures and shortcomings. He sees me as a continual work in progress (Philippians 1:6) and accepts me, not for who I am but who Jesus is!

So I have a future, a Saviour and a friend. I have a guide, a mentor and a counsellor.

In the darkest times I have a light, a guide, a hope.

I suppose you could say that when it comes to love and me, There’s lots of room for improvement!

What about you?. How’s your love life?

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